A Love Letter into 2016
One of my favorite New Year’s Eve traditions is to write myself a “love letter” that I open on the following New Year’s Eve. Last year I was traveling and never took the time to do this, and I was a little bummed today and not having left that little surprise for myself. So today, I made some coffee, lit some candles, and spent some time getting my reflections onto paper.
By any measure, 2015 was an incredible year for me. Personally and professionally, it seemed like great things happened at every turn. And you know what I found out? When things are going good, it’s hard for me to believe that I haven’t “used it all up.” I find myself thinking that I better enjoy it while it lasts, because this is as good as it gets. [Really?]
I spent a lot of years as a pretty unhappy being. I felt like everyone had it better than me. I drifted from situation to situation (relationships, jobs, friendships, whatever) with no real sense of purpose or direction. There was a constant pit of resentment hanging in my gut all of the time. And while my life wasn’t exactly what one would call despairing, it wasn’t that great either. Even “good things” didn’t feel that good. I could never be truly happy for anyone else because I was always just thinking about everything that was wrong with me, and why it would never improve. As you can imagine, this was not a happy existence.
When things changed for me and I began to work on spiritual healing, my eyes were opened to a whole new way of being. Good things were happening for me all the time! In truth, they always had been, or could’ve been, but I would just drive them away. And you know what? Those old habits and ways of thinking are hard to break. So one of the things I’ll be working on in the coming year is affirming that the universe provides an endless flow of good, and it was only by opening the channels for it to happen that it finally started coming into my life. I’ve seen it for real in my life – what we believe on the inside comes true for us on the outside.
In my letter, I wrote out some goal for spiritual growth in 2016:
- Don’t believe that the flow of good is limited and that you’ve received all you can get. Affirm the positive, be grateful for what you’ve received, and keep the channels open for the positive flow.
- Those people who trigger you – the ones you resent – kick them out of your head as soon as they appear. Out of love for yourself, value your own serenity enough to keep those negative thoughts out.
- Think only in terms of what it means to you in choosing your thoughts, actions, and words. These are not dependent on what someone else might think or say about them.
- Be at peace with the people who’ve left your life, regardless of the circumstance, choice (yours or theirs), or even the manner (or absence) of a goodbye. Stop the guilty feelings around eliminating negative presences in your life.
- Be gentle with yourself and treat yourself in a loving manner always. By extension, remember that everyone around you is also human and only reflecting outwardly the spirit that dwells inside of them.
- By the same token, detach from people when necessary. Your job is not to fix someone else’s spiritual wounds. Subjecting yourself to attacks or abuse, or diminishing yourself as an attempt to help someone feel more comfortable, is not loving yourself, nor living to the potential of your divine greatness.
- Spend every day this year doing some form of creating, learning, and exploring. Never stop offering gratitude. Value your serenity above all. Always choose love over fear.
I wish all of you a peaceful, serene, and prosperous 2016!!
Before the Party … a Few Moments of Peace
As I write this, I am preparing for a very important ritual. I lit some candles, found some peaceful music. My home is suffering some “holiday chaos,” but I cleared and prepared and nice space before me for the ritual. After I write this, I will shut down the laptop, turn off the phone, brew a pot of tea, and spend a couple of reflective hours with myself. This isn’t a time for hurrying or for distraction. This is time I spend in the loving company of myself.
For the past several years, one of my rituals has been to write myself a love letter. Then, I open it on the following New Year’s Eve. This year, I’m doing the same, but with a twist – I am also going to write a letter to my Higher Power (which I call God), written as though all of my prayers for this year have been answered.
But this morning I was blessed to find this terrific New Year’s ritual from The Ford Institute. So I am going to embark on this as well – some writing, some prayer, some meditation. The ritual begins with taking a vow to myself and to the universe to find peace and blessings in the coming year, and to live in the best way that I can. After that, this is how the rest goes:
- Make a list of 10 experiences that blessed and nourished you in 2013.
- To complete 2013, write out why you chose the challenging experiences of the last year. Do this from the highest perspective so that you can find their gifts.
- Notice if you’re carrying any dark, small or limiting thoughts into 2014. Write them all down. Affirm you don’t need them anymore. They’re not the truth. They’re just thoughts. Then rip them up into 100 shredded little pieces and throw them in the trash.
- Choose one quality (e.g., love, peace, success, respect, etc.) that you most want to express and commit to in 2014. Write out 5 ways that you can give and share this quality with others.
- Write down 5 goals that you feel inspired to commit to in 2014.
- Read this vow or use one of your own each morning to reconnect with the power you hold to light up the world.
Whether tonight includes a festive gathering of friends, quiet time with a loved one, or a solo night relaxing, I wish you all a safe, happy, joyous, blessed, and peaceful New Year. Thanks for being with me on this journey for the last year. I am sending you all the love of the universe for 2014!
Ingredients for a Serene 2014
I’ll admit that 2013 wasn’t my favorite year, but I do think that in retrospect I’ll look back and see it was the one where I grew the most. It’s certainly ending a whole lot better than it started. I think the themes for this year could be “Painful Things that Led to Better Things,” Or “Laying the Foundation.”
I ended a relationship with someone I really didn’t want to leave behind, but it was becoming too detrimental to my sanity and peace of mind. I learned I had the courage to love myself enough to walk away from a situation that wasn’t giving me what I wanted and needed. I also learned that I can be quite content and peaceful in standing alone, because I can keep the focus on me for the time being. I also have complete faith that my Higher Power, which I call God, is going to deliver the right person to me. So I don’t need to worry or go out “hunting.” I just need to have patience.
I also had a situation of struggle at work that turned into something great … a new position with a lot of promise, working for someone I respect and like a whole lot. That was nothing other than the answer to a whole lot of prayers.
This was also the year that I found I liked sparkling water, distance running, and meditation. I can’t wait to see what I pick up next year!
I really believe that everything we encounter on the path happens for a reason – God has our best intentions in mind. If I let go and keep faith in the process, I’ll feel calm, serene, peaceful. My life will go more smoothly. But if I fight and struggle with it, everything will seem challenging and difficult.
That said, what am I aiming for in the coming year?
1. A mindset of abundance: I do feel that what we believe is what we will attract. If I feel like I am always lacking, always needing or wanting something, then the lack will become my way of life. If I focus on a belief in abundance, then what I already have will attract more. Louise Hay’s book You Can Heal Your Life talks about this in excellent detail.
2. A change in routine: I’ve set a goal to try at least two new things a month that are outside of my routine. I’m fortunate to live in a big city that offers a lot of possibility. I’ll soon be making a list of things that interest me – classes, activities, outings, volunteering – and deciding what I want to pursue.
3. Learn something new: A new language? Learning to code? A different type of fitness certification? Herbology and natural medicine? All of those things were flowing through my mind last night as I was lying in bed.
4. Have fun! I stole this straight from Buddhist Boot Camp’s Facebook post today: “Make a list of 10 things you enjoy doing, and do them often! We constantly make To-Do Lists of the things we “have to do”, and then we wonder why there’s no joy left in our lives. Remember to always add “have fun” to your list.”
What’s on your list for 2014?
Grateful for: Past experiences
Today’s gratitude installment: I am thankful for past experiences, or specifically in this case, relationships that are no longer a part of my life.
I am trying to make a conscious effort to no longer say that a relationship “didn’t work out.” True, we decided we didn’t want to be together anymore in the capacity that we once were. That usually means no longer having contact with each other. But just because we aren’t together anymore doesn’t necessarily mean that things didn’t work out. It means that in the natural progression of things, our lives moved on, and as such, our paths diverged.
But in those times when we were a part of each other’s lives, we had some great experiences. We laughed. We supported each other. We had some great moments and memories together.
In ending things, it helped me to decide what I want or didn’t want in the future. It’s given me an assessment of how well (or not well) I was able to relate to another person from an intimate perspective. I could compare it to my education: Even if I never again used the lessons I learned in school, I don’t feel it was necessarily a waste of time for me to learn them.
All of these experiences brought me to the place where I am now. As I work to make peace with my past, release my resentments, and move toward a place of maintaining serenity and spiritual contentment, the lens through which I look at my past has a huge influence on that. It’s impossible for me to move forward joyfully if I keep trying to drag past baggage along for the ride.
Today, I am grateful for the people of my past, no matter what pain or sadness it might have brought me at one time. I am choosing to release them with loving kindness.
Grateful for: Ownership, and Disownership
Here is just one way I can tell that I still have healing to do in this lifetime:
When I see someone doing something that just doesn’t seem “right” to me; when I see someone expecting another person to take responsibility for them; when someone acts toward me with what appears to be unkindness or selfish intent; when a painful memory from years past pops into my head …
And it bothers me.
The anger, resentment, irritability, whatever … that is a sign of healing left to be done. Whatever is pushing those buttons, chances are the buttons are actually woundedness from long ago. It’s not something that exists in the present, but I’ve still carried it with me.
Today I am expressing gratitude for ownership. I am able to own my thoughts, feelings, emotions, and overall spiritual well-being. I can own my happiness and take responsibility for it. I no longer view myself as a victim of life’s whims, because in every situation, I have a choice – whether it’s to walk away, keep on going, or just to simply choose a better outlook.
In that, I reclaim my power.
I also express gratitude for disownership. The thoughts, feelings, and emotions, and actions of another person don’t belong to me – even if that person says that I caused them. That’s because they, too, always have a choice. That’s not an excuse to act like a jerk and then feel like I have the right to get off scot-free. It is, however, a sanity saver when I catch myself feeling I need to behave or think in a certain way in order to gain someone’s approval or avoid their wrath. It’s also a concept that has helped me to offload mountains of guilt.
I hope that you’ll own this day, and all days, and seize it with all of your power – for kindness, joy, peace, and happiness.
Young Spirit, Old Soul 