Manifesting the Best Possible Life … through Belief
What do you believe to be true about yourself and your life right now?
Do you think things are pretty good? Could be better? Likely to get worse?
What sort of energy to you project on a daily basis? What do you tell yourself about who and what you are?
Something I’ve been working on recently is the use of meditation combined with affirmations to guide me toward my best possible self and life. If I had everything I desire … if I was the person I wanted to be … what would that feel like? What would it look like? How would I be different than I am right now?
Here are some ways I’ve been working on manifesting the things I desire for myself:
1. Meditation: Every night before bed, I’ve been meditating on envisioning myself in the life of my dreams. I picture myself there, and really feel what it’s like. Sometimes I do this with a guided meditation … the Omvana app has a lot of great ones just for this purpose (available for iPhone; not sure if they’ve created an Android version yet). Other times I just listen to some ambient sounds and concentrate on this topic.
2. Affirmations: If something is troubling me, I work to tell myself that the opposite is true as a way of bringing myself around to believe it in my mind and manifest it with my actions. Living in clutter? Tell yourself: “I am organized.” Struggling with money? Tell yourself: “I am prosperous.” This has limitless possibilities: I am creative. I am a leader. I am capable. I am brave. I am loved. Say it over and over again each day until you come to believe it – even if your “inner critic” is screaming at you that it isn’t true. The more you say it, the quieter that critic will become.
3. Journaling: Remember that “dream life” I mentioned in No. 1? I wrote it out, as many details as I could think of. It’s a useful guide for the meditation. This isn’t so much about material things – I’m not aiming to live a life of gold-plated bathroom fixtures and caviar for breakfast. While I did write about where I’d like to live and what that dwelling would look like, I also included the spiritual and emotional aspects of it all as well – a true picture of complete fulfillment.
4. Setting a daily intention: Each morning, I try to set my intent for that day. What do I want to feel today? What do I want to accomplish? It could be as simple as “I want to relax,” “I want to feel joyous,” “I want to feel peaceful.” It could be bigger, like making a decision or completing a project.
5. Setting a long-term intention: This is all part of that big “dream life” goal. All those smaller daily intentions will add up to moving you toward the bigger ones.
You CAN get there – if you truly believe!
The Perfect Revenge
Think about the biggest wrong anyone ever committed against you.
What happened? How did you feel? How do you feel about it now?
Now, imagine for a moment that you could exact revenge against the person who wronged you. You could inflict a wound just as big and cause the same level of hurt and anger as was caused you. The score would be settled.
Or … would it?
There are all kinds of sayings out there, “revenge is sweet”; “don’t get mad – get even,” etc. Many of us want to believe in a sense of justice in the world, that things will end up being fair and people will get their due for the wrongs they committed. In reality, though, life just isn’t fair, and never has been.
The problem with revenge is that it just perpetuates a wrong. It doesn’t fix anything. It doesn’t take away the bad feelings that the injured person felt. It is, literally, stooping to someone else’s level. Instead of repairing the situation, it merely puts more bad vibes and more poisonous energy into the universe.
The thing that’s far better than revenge – the thing that really will fix the situation – is forgiveness.
Some of us have the idea that forgiving someone is letting them off the hook. As in, if we forgive them, that means we think what they did is OK.
But, consider this. Forgiveness is more about you than the other person. Forgiveness is about allowing yourself to feel inner peace. Forgiveness is about releasing someone’s emotional power over you and reclaiming that power for yourself. Forgiveness is about letting go.
The next time you fantasize about settling the score with someone, consider stopping and asking yourself why you’re still allowing this person to dwell, rent-free, in such a prime spot of real estate within your mind. Then, consider replacing those resentful thoughts with a sense of peace. Find the freedom that forgiveness allows.
“As Within, So Without”
I’m an absolute believer that what you’re feeling inside is going to ultimately reflect out into the world – the energy you project is what you’re going to attract in return. If you’re kind and friendly on the outside but not loving yourself very much on the inside, you’ll likely have relationships with people who take advantage of that in some regard – whether it’s actual material gain, or just putting you down in order to feel better about themselves. Likewise, if you’re confident, loving toward yourself, and accepting of others, the relationships you cultivate are likely to reflect that too. Slowly, you’ll move away from negative, destructive people, and instead embrace the more positive and loving ones.
The title of this post came from a quote I saw on PurposeFairy and I thought it was just perfect. Specifically, it was this great post about a 21-day meditation challenge, something I’ve decided to try for myself. I’ve had a sporadic meditation practice going on for a while now, but I think the time has come to really add some discipline to it. (I downloaded the Omvana app too … very excited to see what it offers, and will give an update once I find out!)
Lots of people hear about meditation and think there’s no way they can do it. They picture cross-legged monks in sandals and robes, levitating off the ground and achieving some other-worldly sense of enlightenment. But they don’t picture everyday people, you and me, just sitting quietly for a dedicated amount of time each day to clear and refresh their minds. To me, that last part is really the most basic essence of meditation.
Remember, too, that meditation is called a practice for a reason – it’s not something you’re born knowing how to do right away. It’s an acquired skill, just like playing the piano or learning how to make the perfect loaf of sourdough bread. The more you try it, the better you become.
So, how does one get started on this practice? Surely, there are a million books and online resources, but these are a few things I’ve found helpful:
(1) Set aside a time to do it, faithfully, each day: It could be early in the morning, right after you get up. Maybe there’s a time in the afternoon you can set aside. Make it a part of your daily schedule and routine, and soon it will be a habit.
(2) Focus on your breathing: This will help you draw your awareness back into your body and the present moment. Sometimes it help to focus on one element of the breath – the air filling your lungs, the exhale, the rise or fall of your stomach, and so on.
(3) Let thoughts flow through your mind: Thoughts are going to arise. You’ll be distracted by the sounds around you. That’s OK. Let those things pass through your mind, then let them go and let them float away.
(4) Eyes open? Eyes closed? There are differing opinions on this, but for me, as a beginner, I find eyes closed to usually be a better place to start. You could also focus a soft gaze on something – a candle’s flame, a point in the distance where the treetops meet the sky, a blank wall.
(5) Be present, present, present: Surrender completely to all that is around you – the sounds, the feeling of the chair beneath you, the temperature of the room, and so on. For just this moment, let go of the past and don’t worry about the future – focus all of your energy on the absolute present.
Tools for Healing
As I shared in my last post, I’ve been struggling lately, having more down days than true “good” ones. As I delve into the sources of what’s keeping me from feeling joyful, I have found it important to take certain actions that can move me toward healing. And while I continue to struggle, these are things that have been helping me get through, even if it’s just in the moment.
Journaling: It seems logical that a blogger would also love to keep a journal, right? While this blog is something of a journal on my spiritual and emotional growth, what I write in my pen-and-paper journal is much more personal. It’s the one place I can be gut-wrenchingly honest with no concern for the consequences. Sometimes, it just really helps to get the thoughts and feelings out of your head and down onto paper. I sometimes vary in my discipline with keeping a journal, but I’ve found I do best when I write something every day – even if it’s only a couple of sentences.
Prayer and meditation: One of the first posts I made on this blog was about the importance of finding a Higher Power, whatever you call it – God, the Universe, the Force. It’s my opinion that you can only find a true sense of inner peace and serenity when you discover and believe that there is something/someone more powerful than you or any other force on this earth, who can guide and sustain you and loves you no matter what. The difference between prayer and meditation is this: Prayer is when we ask God for things, and meditation is when we listen for the answers. Meditation is a practice and discipline and there is no wrong way to do it, but it gets better the more often you take part. If you’re interested in trying it in a group setting, Meetup.com has listings for meditation groups in many cities.
Exercise: Yes, I am a fitness freak! Exercise releases feel-good endorphins and moves oxygenated blood through your body. It’s a good way to connect your mind and body and put yourself in a more positive frame of mind.
Yoga: This is an ancient practice with many different forms; many call it a “moving meditation.” I personally take part in Bikram yoga, aka “hot yoga,” where the room is cranked up to 100+ degrees F and you sweat and stretch your troubles away. Since I started, I notice that my flexibility has improved and I have less tension in my shoulders and back, but more importantly it’s 90 minutes where I can really focus on clearing my head. There are many different disciplines and studios often have introductory rates for those looking to try it out. Try some different classes and find the one that’s a good fit for you.
Self-care: Exercise falls into this realm, but so does adequate sleep and a healthy diet. Making healthy choices can have an impact on your emotional well-being, too.
Splurges: I’m not really talking diamond jewelry or Caribbean vacations here (though, those things do have their place). If you’ve been working hard, treat yourself sometimes. For me, that might be a new pair of shoes, a manicure, or a gourmet chocolate bar.
This list is just a starter. Take some time to have a little fun! Spend time with friends, allow yourself to laugh, allow yourself to play.
Down. Not Out.
First, my apologies for being absent for a few days. It’s true, certain things got in the way. Traveling; remote meetings for work and a brief visit home. My job itself has been very busy. There have been plans and chores and obligations. Life. Life has gotten in the way.
But beyond all that, the real reason why I’ve stayed away is because I’m struggling. I have a lot of days of feeling sad. I often feel lonely even though the days have been scarce where I haven’t talked to at least one friend, and many weekends since I haven’t seen them. It’s hard to feel like I’m writing the appropriate content for a blog that’s purportedly about finding serenity and spiritual growth when it seems I’m lacking so much in both right now. But I also realize that struggles are part of the journey. Ultimately, this blog is about my journey.
I had plans for yoga tonight – even got up early for 5:45 am cycling so I could get in some cardio today and keep the evening free – but here I sit, on my couch, comfy clothes and jazz music. Part of it is crummy weather, cold and rainy. But instead of beating myself up for not meeting a self-created obligation (an old, familiar habit), I’m just accepting that this is where I am today. I need rest. I need a cozy night at home.
These “down days” have actually stretched behind me for a ways, and sometimes I shed tears over the fact that it doesn’t feel fair. I’m working so hard to understand my emotions and take responsibility for my peace and happiness. Why are despair and hopelessness part of the deal too? I cry when I pray, asking God why I’m experiencing this. I don’t believe he wants me to hurt. My true belief is that when the light does come in again, it will be so much brighter.
Even though my surface feels wounded, intellectually it doesn’t feel like the truth of who I am. I know greater things are coming my way. I know that I am going to achieve so much more, climb so much higher. I believe that the things I desire for myself really are going to come my way because I’m finally not afraid to ask for them. I’m no longer afraid that merely by admitting I want them, I will somehow curse my fate and therefore ensure they won’t be mine. This is where I know I really have grown – my self-defeating attitude has gone by the wayside.
And so, I am sorry that I haven’t been here as much, because that isn’t my intent. I figured I’d have more social media up and running by now, that there’d be more voices in this little community I’m hoping to build. But right now I don’t have the energy to reach out … I can only reach inside to pull myself up. I’m still here, but first and foremost I have to be here for me.
Young Spirit, Old Soul 