How to Change Anything

(Sorry for being away for a while, gang … nothing big going on here, just living life. I missed you!)

Do I have your attention? Good! Pull up a chair. I’m going to tell you how to change anything to become exactly what you want it to be.

Here’s the catch: You might have to change what you want. Or you might have to open yourself to different outcomes. In either case, it’s absolutely imperative to admit you have no control over what’s happening.

The only thing any of us have control over is ourselves – our attitudes, thoughts, behaviors, actions.

Once you’ve got that down pat, I can guarantee that you will change any situation drastically, because you will feel so much more freedom around it. Isn’t it so much more freeing to let go of a situation, rather than scratching and scraping and digging to try to figure out exactly what you need to do in order to produce the outcome you’re looking to create?

“There are two things you can do in any situation: Accept it, or change it.”

I’m not sure if I have that quote exactly right. I think it’s a good one. But I also think there’s a middle way. You can accept it, and change your attitudes and thoughts about it at the same time. Changing it can mean walking away from it, or at least detaching from it. 

The real secret to changing any situation, person, place, or thing, is to let go of it. Release it to the universe. Give it away. Realize it isn’t yours to master, steer, or coerce. Of course, changing the curtains in your house is one thing. But thinking a person needs to behave how you see fit is not the answer. (Conversely, watch out for other people who would look to have this sort of control over you.)

I’ve had a series of encounters lately where I’ve thought, “good grief, why can’t this person shape up and just do what they are supposed to do?” (Translated: Why can’t they do what I want them to do?)

Answer: I have no idea. It’s not up to me, not mine to control. But when I think about why I want this person’s behavior to change, it’s because I’m wanting them to act in a manner that would leave me more comfortable in our interactions. It’s not wrong for me to want that. If we had a different type of relationship, I would probably walk away from it. That’s not a viable option for me in this case, so this is what I’m asking myself:

  • What’s the lesson here that I am meant to learn? (I think it’s a need to extend more compassion to understand what’s behind this person’s behavior, while also reclaiming my emotional power for myself. A combination of empathy and detachment.)
  • How can I act in a way that is in accordance to my heart and spirit? I strive to step away from hostility and contempt. I can be direct and firm without being disrespectful.
  • How can I maintain a sense of peace and serenity in this situation? (By doing all of the above!)

I feel like the biggest lesson I’ve learned and taken to heart lately is this: Everything will be just fine if I just let go to the unfolding universe. Good things will happen for me, much beyond what I ever could have dreamed or planned, if I just allow for it to be. I am always where I am intended to be, no matter how difficult or trying it may be.

There is something being worked out in me, a sense of knowledge or wisdom that is coming my way and will become clear – eventually!

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Andrew Hines

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