I have a nice daily reader of meditations that I find quite insightful and helpful (The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie, if you’re wondering). The theme of an entry a couple of days ago was about the hazards of trying to convince another person about how great/loving/wise/wonderful we are … that exhibiting that kind of behavior is a warning sign that we may not actually believe those things ourselves.
Well, to say that was a wake-up call might be a mild understatement. I thought of a recent situation where I was trying to do just that – convince someone of my greatness. And I wondered … for thinking that I already know and believe this of myself, how much do I really know it?
If I already believed this, would I have been content just knowing it, without feeling like I had to go through the accompanying actions to demonstrate it? Would I have walked away from the situation sooner, or even stayed in it and not cared so much? Would it have influenced the outcome?
I suppose I’ll never know the answers, at least not for this particular episode. But it was a realization for me that maybe I wasn’t believing it strongly enough for myself … I was needing someone else to reinforce and validate the belief for me.
There’s something to be said about not wasting time with people and situations where it seems your worth is being questioned. But certain situations in essence force us to do this – say if you’re auditioning for something, or going on a job interview, or if you want to make a sale or score a new client. The point is to prove why you’re better than the competition. Even then, though, an inherent belief that you ARE better is likely to increase your chances of coming out on top.
In personal relationships, though, why waste time trying to prove this to people who seem to question it, or leave you questioning it yourself? Or perhaps that’s a chicken-and-egg question, that if you believed this of yourself already, you wouldn’t waste that time. You’d just know it, and that belief would shine through. Outcomes because of that would be an entirely separate matter.
This is much for me to think about, but worthwhile. I’m praying for God to help make my greatness inherent knowledge for me, not something of which I need to convince anyone – least of all myself.