You’re ALL Good
Feelings can be so darn inconvenient sometimes, no? There can be tears when you want them the least, anger when you’d rather just get along, jealousy and envy when you feel like you should just be happy for someone – hence producing guilt and shame, a whole other set of things you don’t want to feel.
Many of us have been socialized to believe that only certain feelings are acceptable. Usually, it’s something along the happy-content-complacent scale. Anger is to be stuffed, tears only shown at the appropriate moment (which is likely in private), and so on. Being pleasant and happy and “approachable” is often the mark we think we should hit 100 percent of the time.
But, here’s the rub. We’re human. Our feelings are natural and part of us, just like the physical parts of our body. Attempting to control what we’re feeling – when the basis of it is I shouldn’t be feeling this way – only leads to more emotional destruction later on. We learn to not feel certain things, or to express those feelings inappropriately, or to not even express them at all.
In my journey of self-discovery and growth, I’ve had to learn that all of my feelings are OK, that they aren’t necessarily facts, they aren’t fatal, and that they will pass – good and bad. They also belong to me and me alone. Nobody else has the right to control them, and ultimately, no one else can. I’ll keep on feeling whatever I’m feeling no matter what someone else says I should feel.
All of your feelings are yours, and they are precious. Recognize them, honor them, learn how they influence you. Express your truth as honestly and appropriately as possible. Give yourself that measure of acceptance. You’re worth it.