To summarize, the person who accused me showed up a few minutes late for my class. It was already very crowded, and I had announced the week before that latecomers would not be permitted entry due to the class size. This woman arrived late, and I told her she couldn’t stay. Apparently she went to the front desk and issued a complaint about this – and hit the hot button as part of it.
I don’t want to get into that particular issue too much, because it is extremely polarizing and can be perceived so many different ways. Never in a million years would I say that racism doesn’t exist. But what this woman did was just as hurtful in reverse – she knew nothing about me and my attitudes toward race. All she knew was that she didn’t get what she wanted from me, and then made a judgment based on that information.
Thing is, this is where I can see that I’ve developed confidence in who I am. I know I am NOT racist. I saw this woman after the class and tried to apologize to her and explain what had happened (she had never been in my class before) – before I knew what she had said about me. But she had already made up her mind. Her ears were closed. She did not want to listen to me.
In years past, something like this would have been devastating to me. And while I’m clearly bothered by it still, I’m not crushed. I know who and what I am. This is a gift of my journey. Given the same set of circumstances, I would not have acted any differently. And if gym management comes to me to talk about the situation, I’ll be confident in my answers and my assertion that I didn’t do anything wrong, and I certainly did nothing motivated by hate.
Today, I am grateful for knowing who I am, and that someone’s unfair and unkind judgments about me aren’t a part of that.
How have you built self-confidence?