It’s my opinion that a whole lot of us go through life thinking we’d be a lot better off if we just had something different. I know I was there for a long time.

If only I drove a different car, had a different job, had achieved something “more” by now. If only my weight was a certain number (always lower than what it is now), if my thighs were thinner, if my nose were different. If only I dressed a certain way. If only I owned that cool pair of sunglasses or rockin’ designer bag. If I had that perfect relationship partner. If I were younger. If I were … something else.

I wasn’t comfortable in my own skin. I figured these outside things would “make me happy.” It was only through cultivating love for myself that I’ve been able to overcome these “ifs.”

I was looking for fulfillment and approval from things and people outside of me. And guess what? I never got it. Even getting the “things” I thought I wanted still left me feeling empty.

I had to remedy this by looking for fulfillment within myself. Here are some things that helped me:

Hearing a loving inner voice: So, how do you talk to yourself? Listen to your inner dialogue. Do you catch yourself saying things that you’d never say to another human being? Pay close attention especially when you make mistakes. Replace harsh words with gentler dialogue.

Feeling love from a higher power: Check out my post about spirituality. For me, I found it very important to believe that a power greater than myself loves me unconditionally, will take good care of me, and ultimately has my best interests at heart.

Not comparing myself to other people: As the saying goes, “compare and despair.” What you see on the outside is just how someone presents themselves to the world. Inside, they’re facing many of the same struggles that all of us are. Resist the temptation to compare your inside to someone else’s outside.

How have you found fulfillment from inside yourself? What kind of dialogue makes up your inner voice?