The God of Your Understanding
This past weekend, I was part of a discussion where everyone was asked to share their idea of God – the God of their understanding. It turned out to be an insightful and fascinating discussion. As I’ve said on here before, I don’t think of God (or the Higher Power, if you will) as a one-size-fits-all deity. In fact, I’ve even found in my own journey, my idea of God has evolved and changed and grown.
Since I started to feel that I was “OK with God” (in other words, not too messed up for him to love me), and that it was OK for me to really believe and trust in this higher power, there are some characteristics that have remained as constants:
1. This God is loving. Why would I put faith into something that’s scornful and punishing?
2. This God is stronger than me. I can surrender my problems, my pain, and ask for the burden to be lightened. It’s worked for me, many times.
3. This God has a plan for me that will be revealed if I really listen for it – and it’s greater than what I can come up with on my own. And it feels a heck of a lot better than trying to “fight the universe” or forcing decisions that just don’t work for me.
But, there have been some changes too. As I’ve gotten away from a formal church environment and found other places and ways to develop my relationship with God, the way I interpret God has changed too: I now see God less as an “outside entity” and more like something that’s a part of me, something I carry around all the time. I think this part of being mindful – I really try to avoid doing things that go against my spirit. Most of the time, I know when that’s happening. (And I’m far from perfect on this, but it’s cool – I try to get it right next time.)
I’m sure this idea of God will grow and change for me as time goes on. That’s OK – I’m growing and changing too.
“As Within, So Without”
I’m an absolute believer that what you’re feeling inside is going to ultimately reflect out into the world – the energy you project is what you’re going to attract in return. If you’re kind and friendly on the outside but not loving yourself very much on the inside, you’ll likely have relationships with people who take advantage of that in some regard – whether it’s actual material gain, or just putting you down in order to feel better about themselves. Likewise, if you’re confident, loving toward yourself, and accepting of others, the relationships you cultivate are likely to reflect that too. Slowly, you’ll move away from negative, destructive people, and instead embrace the more positive and loving ones.
The title of this post came from a quote I saw on PurposeFairy and I thought it was just perfect. Specifically, it was this great post about a 21-day meditation challenge, something I’ve decided to try for myself. I’ve had a sporadic meditation practice going on for a while now, but I think the time has come to really add some discipline to it. (I downloaded the Omvana app too … very excited to see what it offers, and will give an update once I find out!)
Lots of people hear about meditation and think there’s no way they can do it. They picture cross-legged monks in sandals and robes, levitating off the ground and achieving some other-worldly sense of enlightenment. But they don’t picture everyday people, you and me, just sitting quietly for a dedicated amount of time each day to clear and refresh their minds. To me, that last part is really the most basic essence of meditation.
Remember, too, that meditation is called a practice for a reason – it’s not something you’re born knowing how to do right away. It’s an acquired skill, just like playing the piano or learning how to make the perfect loaf of sourdough bread. The more you try it, the better you become.
So, how does one get started on this practice? Surely, there are a million books and online resources, but these are a few things I’ve found helpful:
(1) Set aside a time to do it, faithfully, each day: It could be early in the morning, right after you get up. Maybe there’s a time in the afternoon you can set aside. Make it a part of your daily schedule and routine, and soon it will be a habit.
(2) Focus on your breathing: This will help you draw your awareness back into your body and the present moment. Sometimes it help to focus on one element of the breath – the air filling your lungs, the exhale, the rise or fall of your stomach, and so on.
(3) Let thoughts flow through your mind: Thoughts are going to arise. You’ll be distracted by the sounds around you. That’s OK. Let those things pass through your mind, then let them go and let them float away.
(4) Eyes open? Eyes closed? There are differing opinions on this, but for me, as a beginner, I find eyes closed to usually be a better place to start. You could also focus a soft gaze on something – a candle’s flame, a point in the distance where the treetops meet the sky, a blank wall.
(5) Be present, present, present: Surrender completely to all that is around you – the sounds, the feeling of the chair beneath you, the temperature of the room, and so on. For just this moment, let go of the past and don’t worry about the future – focus all of your energy on the absolute present.
Gettin’ Religion on Spirituality
“Religion is for people who are afraid of going to hell. Spirituality is for people who’ve already been there.”
I open with that quote because I want to make it clear that this is NOT a post about religion. I’m not interested in talking about what you should or should not believe, what denomination is the “right one,” or whose God is correct. This is a bash-free zone. This post is about what it means to be spiritually connected.
I didn’t grow up with much of a religious or spiritual background. As I came into adulthood, I figured church was a good idea – for other people. I thought I was too broken for God to love me, that I wasn’t living the right kind of life and really didn’t care to make those kinds of changes. It looked like a lot of judgment and shame. No thank you.
With those kinds of messages being a common theme, it’s not surprising that a lot of people feel the same way. Atheism seems to be a popular pick among folks asked to identify their religion. We were all fed someone else’s idea of God – and some of us got a heapin’ helpin’ of scorn from people who said we weren’t living a “Godly life.” These people had appointed themselves as God’s ambassador here on earth, just dying to set us all straight and tell us what we should be doing to “get right.”
I’m here to beg of you: Cast that off. Right now.
Here’s one thing that I absolutely believe: There is no way to cultivate a true sense of serenity, surrender, and inner peace without faith and trust in a power greater than you. You can call that power God, Buddha, Yahweh, Allah, the universe, the human collective. It could be mother nature. It could be the wind, or the sun. It could be a freakin’ pack of turkey hot dogs (though things without expiration dates tend to have better shelf life as a higher power). It is absolutely your belief to own and mold as it fits you. It doesn’t belong to anyone else but you.
In the face of a personal crisis, I began to find the importance of developing a relationship with God. My definition is more closely attuned to the Christian tradition, but remember – that’s MY belief! I was in church nearly every week for about two years, for much of that time lucky to encounter a priest who had a very loving, centered message. He has since moved away, and I miss that leadership, but I still have God, and I actually feel closer to him than ever before.
I’m not a regular church attender anymore, mostly because I have not found another church home to replace the one I miss so dearly. The “human message” got too much in the way at some of the other places I tried. I will also note that my definition of God has changed and grown as I have. At the present time, I don’t need the overwrap of formal ceremony to feel close to God, but I have also very much respected and loved the reverence of that ceremony.
This piece of my spiritual development has been absolutely key to feeling at peace. I feel loved, from both my higher power and myself. I feel supported. I trust that no matter what hard times I’m facing now, it’s all part of the unfolding master plan. I wouldn’t say that I never worry, but I certainly worry a whole lot less.
In short, I stopped centering my faith around other people, and instead centered my faith around God. I had to find my own meaning of God first, and not someone else’s. For me, it’s worked.
What do you do to feel spiritually connected? What is your definition of a higher power?
The Fulfillment Without
It’s my opinion that a whole lot of us go through life thinking we’d be a lot better off if we just had something different. I know I was there for a long time.
If only I drove a different car, had a different job, had achieved something “more” by now. If only my weight was a certain number (always lower than what it is now), if my thighs were thinner, if my nose were different. If only I dressed a certain way. If only I owned that cool pair of sunglasses or rockin’ designer bag. If I had that perfect relationship partner. If I were younger. If I were … something else.
I wasn’t comfortable in my own skin. I figured these outside things would “make me happy.” It was only through cultivating love for myself that I’ve been able to overcome these “ifs.”
I was looking for fulfillment and approval from things and people outside of me. And guess what? I never got it. Even getting the “things” I thought I wanted still left me feeling empty.
I had to remedy this by looking for fulfillment within myself. Here are some things that helped me:
Hearing a loving inner voice: So, how do you talk to yourself? Listen to your inner dialogue. Do you catch yourself saying things that you’d never say to another human being? Pay close attention especially when you make mistakes. Replace harsh words with gentler dialogue.
Feeling love from a higher power: Check out my post about spirituality. For me, I found it very important to believe that a power greater than myself loves me unconditionally, will take good care of me, and ultimately has my best interests at heart.
Not comparing myself to other people: As the saying goes, “compare and despair.” What you see on the outside is just how someone presents themselves to the world. Inside, they’re facing many of the same struggles that all of us are. Resist the temptation to compare your inside to someone else’s outside.
How have you found fulfillment from inside yourself? What kind of dialogue makes up your inner voice?
Young Spirit, Old Soul 